The Missing Link: Me!

Only I can tell this story:

Entirely by coincidence and chance, my elusive birth parents have been identified . . . and no one more than I is as surprised.

To understand this unveiling, I must first backtrack. In 1955, I was born in St. Ann's Hospital for Women in Columbus, Ohio, to a lady named Barbara Ann Fromm. (If interested in more specifics regarding my ultimate adoption and subsequent life, I refer readers to my February 13, 2014, blog entry entitled "A Revelation" found at michaelagunther.blogspot.com .) At a young age, I had discovered I was adopted when my parents informed my sister Carol (not biological) and me about our origins. Honestly, that news had little to no impact on my life, one of enjoyment, love, caring, and relative comfort. As the years passed into adulthood, I periodically was curious, but it was not until my wife and I chose to have children that understanding my health history made my biological history a bit more relevant. With assistance from the Ohio Bureau of Vital Statistics, I found my original birth certificate that listed only my mother's name and my health history was described as "Normal." From my perspective, that was enough--for the most part, my search and interest was pretty much done.

A few years ago, however, at the insistence of my children and my wife, I submitted my saliva to Ancestry.com with the hope of finding my heritage (Irish and Scottish). Once that question was answered, I went no further in reading or pursuing anything else about my heritage. Over the past few years, we have casually commented that Jake Fromm, the quarterback for the University of Georgia, was probably my nephew, but beyond that my biological family was a nonfactor in my life--I would be lying, though, if I completely overlooked that a curiosity did exist, but I accepted that I would never know, so the idea was pretty much buried.

Until May 6 of  this year . . .

Our youngest daughter, for her own reasons, decided to find out more about her own history, so she submitted her saliva to the 23&Me Program, triggering a connection to her biological second cousin named Jennifer Hodge (Fromm), a resident of Reno, Nevada. My daughter called me with that news, stirring my curiosity enough that I enlisted my LinkedIn account to see if a connection existed--none did. I followed that up by entering that name on Facebook, discovered a possible match, and then wrote an email via Messenger that I feared would be rejected as coming from a weird dude, maybe even a creepy sort of guy. Much to my surprise, however, within twenty minutes, I received a response that immediately made a positive connection: She was a blood relative! Her exact words were "OMG, I'm so happy you texted! I've seen your relationship on Ancestry and have been racking my brain trying to figure out the [connection]. I believe Barbara [my biological mother] is a sister to my grandfather . . . you're similar in age to my dad, Jeff Fromm . . . ." Much more was exchanged in that email, but it was not until the next day when I received another email from Jennifer that read "I found a relative that knows about you! Her name is Sue Hodges and she would be your cousin. Her mother told her the 'story' and she said she would love to chat with you." At that point, I was provided Sue's Facebook information, and we soon touched base via Messenger.

That evening I contacted Sue, a resident of Reynoldsburg, Ohio, who wrote, "I am so happy that you have found us. My late mother and I have wanted to find you for years!"

At that point, my biological life unfolded. At the risk of boring readers, I do find it pertinent to quote what I was told: 

          "Your mother worked at a variety store in Bexley, a very well-to-do suburb of Columbus. Your father's name was Walter Daugherty . . . he owned a bar in Columbus called The Camel Bell. I don't know whatever happened to him. After your birth, your mother left Columbus and moved to Lima, Ohio, where our family lived. She worked in the office at the electric company. In 1960, she married and became a farmer's wife. She never had any children. My grandparents had 13 children and around 35 grandchildren . . . As you can imagine, these things [out of wedlock births] were never discussed back in those days. My mom never told my dad [about a child] and she only told me when I was an adult. Your mother was my favorite aunt, and if she had a child, I wanted to know about him. Your mom had a sense of humor like no other. Sadly, she passed away from Leukemia on August 27, 1980. She lived close to Ada at the time of her death. She was about 5'2" and had very dark, naturally curly hair. She was a very sophisticated lady who wore beautiful clothes. However, when she married and lived on the farm, she did a complete about face. She had a garden, canned from her garden, learned to sew, but her personality never changed. We all LOVED her . . .I know she loved you and wanted you to have a life that she never could afford to give you. But everything was so hush hush back then. After my mother died in 2001, I tried to find you, but [the state of Ohio] is very strict. If I had been her sibling, I would have had better luck. My regret is that we didn't find you earlier. I know my mother always wanted to find you."

Additionally, I spoke with my mother's sole remaining sibling, a younger sister (by 12 years), Judy (a resident of Wapakoneta, Ohio), who recalled my mother as being extremely organized and one "who would give you the shirt off her back . . ."--certainly a pleasant thought. Much more was written and discussed, but that should be sufficient regarding my biological mom.

At this point, I contacted a name, Marilyn Moltz, a Chicago resident and an English teacher as am I, who appeared on my Ancestry.com page (which I had never looked at beyond discovering my heritage). There I found messages from Marilyn and a guy named Andy Tucker (who I discovered is also a first cousin like Marilyn), both who had been attempting to locate me. Past messages of "Merry Christmas, cuz" and "You might be my cousin!" greeted me. Thus, I contacted Marilyn, who was quite helpful, connecting me with a lady in Pickerington, Ohio, named Diane Malone, the niece of my biological father Walter. In short, my first cousin and I began to fill in the gaps. To best capture her response, I provide the following words from her emails:

     "I have a lot of information on him; my dad and he were very close and had several businesses together. I do need to apologize to you because I had no idea that uncle Walt had a son!"

Soon thereafter, Diane and I spoke by phone where I learned that my father never married, was a World War II vet who was stationed in Iran, was a heavy smoker, stood about 6'0", and owned a bar and a few carry-outs in the Columbus area. He was described as very quiet and easygoing with a warm personality who was quite caring toward others and was a homebody who declared after he returned from Iran that he was never leaving Ohio again. He was born in New Straightsville, Ohio, (near Logan) and is buried in St. Joseph's Cemetery on South High Street in Columbus. Interestingly, his full name was Walter Aloysius Benedict Daugherty--clearly Catholic by the name choices of "Aloysius" and "Benedict"--interestingly, I, too, am Catholic. He had no other children, clearly establishing that I have no biological brothers or sisters (as stated, my biological mother had no other children).

The best part, by far, is that pictures exist of my biological parents! I have been able to review them and certainly can see similarities in appearance...it is almost 65 years later, but whom I resemble has been partially answered.

When my kids have asked what learning all this has meant to me, my answer is quite simple: It fills in the blanks. While I feel no strong emotional attachments at this time, I am flattered to recognize that at least a few people in my biological tree did know that I existed. Being told that others had wanted to find me did humble me, without a doubt! On a negative note, I have now been made aware that both parents and most of their siblings died of various cancers--not exactly sure of the power of that discovery, but at least I know a little medical history. Regarding my new-found relatives, I look forward to meeting a few of them when the current pandemic disappears and am grateful for their courageously stepping forward when I made contact.

In a script resembling The Twilight Zone, one noted oddity exists: my biological mom lived at 634 East Main Street (Columbus), The Camel Bell Bar (biological father's business) was on East Main Street (Columbus), and I was born at St. Ann's Hospital for Women at 1634 East Main Street (Columbus).

The irony? I was raised at 638 East Main Street (Gnadenhutten) . . .  not knowing anything about my biological family. Karma, Coincidence, or Divine Intervention?