I would like to say that I am a golfer, but, in doing so, I would be making an exaggeration. I enjoy golfing, but to say that I am a "golfer" would be comparable to saying I dig Harleys without having ever ridden one--I haven't earned the right. Of all the sports I have ever tried, without a doubt, golf has been the most challenging. As most non-golfers attest, hitting a stationary ball with a club looks easy; for those who think that, I would recommend keeping those thoughts to themselves because their ignorance will shine with bright clarity. If only it were easy, I would not be sitting here writing about the game, lamenting its difficulty and its mental toughness requirement.
Envy is a powerful divider, but it can also be a wonderful motivator. For years, I have watched friends who are excellent in the game's many aspects. Embarrassingly, I have watched them drive with distance and accuracy and demonstrate solid control of their wedges and putters while I meandered along hitting the occasional memorable shot but most frequently plodding along feeling sorry for myself. For many reasons (including lack of passion for improvement and suffering self confidence in my golfing ability), I had basically done nothing to improve my game. However, this year, I hit a breaking point: I had run out of excuses. As a result, I made up my mind to concentrate on improving, a relative term for certain, yet one that I was determined to achieve. What I have found is that I thoroughly enjoy the game--don't quite love it just yet--but I find it to be challenging, rewarding, and strangely addicting!
A person who can occasionally be stubborn and stuck in his beliefs--that's me I am talking about--frequently ignores what is most obvious. What I have learned is that my unwillingness to sometimes listen to others' advice can ultimately lead to my own frustration. I was told by many several years ago to take lessons before the bad habits settled in, but, of course, I basically refused. I took a lesson here and there, but when the mind was not really listening, those lessons basically were a waste of money. With credit to the instructors, my inability to improve had nothing to do with them: It was all me and my reluctance to concede that I might just know a "thing or two about this game"; actually, the problem was self confidence and embarrassment . . . I didn't want anyone to know that I truly did not understand golf lingo and the details that accompany it. With that in mind, I have swallowed my pride and committed myself to improving my game. I am realistic, of course; my hope is to improve by four strokes, allowing me to shoot consistently in the bogey range.
Having said all the above, I must confess that mastering the swings required is definitely challenging, but the most difficult part is the mental toughness required to compete--that is where the self confidence enters the picture. Hitting that first ball with others' eyes watching, putting with a par on the line, bouncing back from a bad hole and trying to forget it when teeing off on the next hole, and following a successful play by a partner and trying to emulate it are all examples of how mental toughness controls one's success or lack thereof. For me, that has been my biggest obstacle, but with more experience in those situations, I am seeing improvement. As a coach, I always expounded about being mentally tough, grinding it out, outworking our opponents. Additionally, as a coach, as an athlete, and as an adult runner, I thought I understood that. It was not until I actively pursued golf that I realized that this game required a whole new focus. Performing under pressure has been my biggest challenge.
With a series of lessons under my belt, with playing many rounds by myself as well as with others, with practicing at the driving range, with actively listening to others' far better than I, and with asking questions and actually processing the responses instead of simply absorbing material, I am learning this game. I am feeling my confidence increasing, and I am finding my mental toughness is getting closer to where I am comfortable. Of course, I accept that I will not be as talented as many, but for that is not what I strive. I want to improve, and in doing so, I am finding my mind is facing a daily challenge. Yep, those coaches' lessons from way back are still influencing me: accept my reality; work to improve; recognize my strengths and identify my weaknesses; be open to advice and constructive criticism; and, most of all, develop the mental toughness through experience and competition.
Funny how those lessons from when I was a teenager continue to surface . . .
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